#if you can’t get a cis man pregnant

[number1yisuchongfan]

//Suggestive

Half of my Unenthused Squire fanfics be like:

TFW I’m writing them going at it as an AroAce Lesbian who isn’t afraid of trans men taking lead:

[a-polite-melody]

tell me the last trans woman who got pregnant and the last trans man who donated sperm…then I’ll believe sex can be changed.

There are plenty of cis women who can’t get pregnant and cis men who can’t donate sperm.

Find me something that wouldn’t also disqualify cis people from their sex in your crusade to deny trans people theirs. Oh wait, you can’t.

[its-crowning]

I loved the response to the urethral birth ask. Gentle urethral birth is pretty hot not going to lie. The belly of a urethral birther would probably be smaller I'd say. The bigger the better but if we don't want his cock to tear and split open then he'd have to have a smaller baby.

One that can fit through his penis with a bit of stretching and swelling but not completely rip it open. So a smaller baby would mean that his belly is smaller too but still noticable for sure. Something that he can hide easily with sweaters and baggier clothes but once he's got his clothing off, it's obvious that he's pregnant

i’m weirdly loving this genre of (presumably) cis mpreg when I don’t usually care for it. gentle urethral birth is so hot to me, imagining a penis dilating like a cervix in preparation for a birth, and a guy huffing and puffing and pacing anxiously while it happens. knowing what’s inside his modest, swollen belly, what’s going to come out of him, very soon, but not being fully able to wrap his brain around it nonetheless. he’s a man. he has a dick. he can’t have a baby, it doesn’t make any sense! but he’s cramping with contractions all the same. he doesn’t even want to look at the state of his penis, and thankfully his belly juts out just enough to keep it out of his sight. he can feel it widening, though. and he can feel the heavy thing descending through the narrow front of his pelvis. his pacing is getting slower and more bowlegged—he can’t close his legs anymore. eventually he gives up and lays on the ground, legs out in a frog like position. he lays there and grunts, holding his belly.

his water breaks, spurting out of his painfully swollen dick like the cumshot that did this to him. whether he likes it or not, it’s time.

while the angst and denial aspects of ftm pregnancy are what are so hot to me—knowing your biology can do this and will whether you like it or not—the confusion is what gets me the most about this scenario. it really shouldn’t be possible, but here you are. pregnant. it’s humiliating in the same way it is for anyone—this is the consequence of letting someone cum in you. a reminder of that tiny action, pushing out your belly month by month until it has to be born.

[doctorjackdaw]

being transmasc and in the preg kink community has really removed me from a discourse that i thought was just… straight up ancient? the idea that “mpreg” is this nasty bastardization of “cis male biology”, deserving of ridicule as a fetishistic taboo that treads into dangerous territory - “they want this to happen to me” - a cis man replies in disgust as he looks at an image of sonic the hedgehog, 7 months in

but it’s merely a question of reality and unreality. the reality is that people get pregnant all the time, and their gender identities and pronouns don’t or wont align with the biological tasks they can accomplish. the unreality is fantasy, for those who can’t get pregnant to imagine it - or, project that desire beyond their bodies through media and art. this is not just the work of people drawing “cis mpreg”. infertility, and the longing that goes along with it, is a sorrow shared by millions. cis women, trans women, those who’ve taken hormones that prevent them now from experiencing it…

when we talk about pregnancy, what it means to want something you either can’t have… or oftentimes too, to have something you don’t want, it is critical that you center marginalized bodies and the right to choice. you must keep in mind that kink is not an excuse to abandon the idea of a future you’re fighting for, where reproductive care is not a right that can be taken away.

i’m sure this all sounds too serious for “insert character here mpreg” but it’s good to let the passion of others into your heart and into an open mind. maybe someone likes something you don’t. maybe (truly,) their dreams are just as valuable as your dreams. they’re just different.

love the freaks in your life. we are human.

[genderkoolaid]

okay, so, i keep seeing this take come up a lot from non-trans men and non-trans mascs, and it’s making me a bit uncomfortable. for background, i’m a trans man that writes smut for trans mascs, trans men, and non-binary folks. i write in fandom spaces so this is a strictly fandom basis and not irl basis

more and more often i keep seeing non trans men and non trans mascs saying “if you think mpreg is gross you’re just transphobic” without nuance and when i explain “hey, this maybe isn’t a good take to have since there’s a LOT of reasons people may be grossed out by mpreg (eg. dysphoria, how heavily fetishized it is in fandom spaces by non-trans writers, how it’s used to fetishize trans m characters, the person grossed out may be a closeted trans man or trans masc or don’t realize that the “gross” feeling is dysphoria, etc.)”, i get shouted down and told that i’m wrong. and it’s kind of making me question my own line of thinking.

i guess, i’m just looking for some perspective from trans men and trans mascs on this topic? if there is any? bc i honestly can’t tell if i’m having a knee jerk reaction to my own personal experiences with fetishization. idk if you do much with fandom spaces, but i also don’t really know where else to get perspective

I think there's an important difference between different interpretations of "finding mpreg gross." One interpretation is male pregnancy being a squick for people as individuals for a variety of reasons, such as dysphoria. But in the context of systemic transandrophobia, "gross" is describing the idea that male pregnancy is an obscene, disturbing fetish akin to guro, something that is objectively abnormal and inappropriate.

The reason why "mpreg is gross" is transphobic is because its based in the idea that a pregnant man is unnatural and wrong, and that pregnant men can only exist as a "fucked up" sexual fetish. People are incapable of being normal about male pregnancy in any context and will compulsively go "EWW mpreg is so weird and fucked up!!! is this omegaverse!!!" even when talking about real men's experiences or desires. Male pregnancy is seen as a joke, a kink, or a crime against nature, but never something normal, natural, neutral.

Feeling dysphoria around pregnancy for yourself isn't transphobic, and people can write/depict male pregnancy in ways that are uncomfortable. Personally, I don't like how a lot of people's first thought when it comes to male pregnancy is cis men getting pregnant, with trans men- men who can and do actually get pregnant- are an afterthought. Its annoying to see posts joking about "getting a man pregnant" where people immediately jump to "cis male mpreg," distancing transmascs from our own bodies' abilities & replacing us in the cultural mind with cis men. I don't think cis male mpreg is inherently bad, but there are valid criticisms to be made.

And while you are just talking about fandom stuff, I don't think we should entirely separate this from the wider treatment of pregnant men- who are constantly dehumanized irl, treated like walking freaks (I was just reading an article the other day where a trans father talked about being called "it" throughout his pregnancy, and this is not uncommon), and having their gender validity heavily scrutinized for using their "female anatomy" even though they "want to be a man," sometimes even from other trans people. The way mpreg is treated in fandom spaces does very little to counter this narrative- if anything, in my experience, it just adds that "dirty" connotation, where pregnant men aren't just freaks, their pregnancy must be inherently sexual and should be kept out of public spaces. And this really does not help the idea that trans people are groomers who shouldn't be around children- I have also seen transphobes fearmonger about transmasc fathers & their children & whether or not the children will be safe, or be able to grow up properly, or if they'll be traumatized because of their father.

This is all to say: I don't know exactly the contexts you've heard "saying mpreg is gross is transphobic" in, but to me, arguing against "mpreg = gross" is a necessary part of dealing with the objectifying & dehumanizing way we see male pregnancy discussed in fandom spaces. Male pregnancy should be just the same as female pregnancy. Its normal, its natural. Some people have fetishes relating to it. Some people are really disturbed by the idea of it happening to them. & while there are unique brands of misogyny directed at pregnant women, the image of a pregnant woman isn't treated like something inherently dirty and obscene the same way a pregnant man is. People finding male pregnancy strange or gross- not because of dysphoria or personal preference, but out of transandrophobia- is the status quo right now, and its important to counteract this by normalizing male pregnancy as A Thing Some Men Do.

[doberbutts]

hey so feel free to delete this if its inappropriate/not the right time to share it

i’m a trans woman and (obviously) i can’t get pregnant, but i did get sexually assaulted by some guys trying to show was one of them. and also having an m marker has caused issues with trying to access resources and shit.

idk this isnt the same thing and all but my point is that im standing with u as some random trans woman with vaguely parallel experiences and im sorry to hear its somehow even worse & more likely for some of yall.

I wanr to preface this with a disclaimer, to get things out of the way first.

I am not trying to say that trans women do not experience devastating sexual assaults. They do. Quite often. Though to me, even once is too often. Rape and sexual assault are terrible, awful things. It's horrible that anyone has been made to go through this.

Nor am I trying to say that your M marker doesn't get in the way of things. When it comes to the domestic violence you experience, or the homelessness rates, or a determination of what prison you go to (esp since y'all are more likely to be wrongfully accused and arrested), or the various aspects of your own reproducive healthcare, your agab and gender marker is absolutely used as a weapon against you.

The question was asked for a unique example. Unfortunately, the conversation around reproductive rights is much different for me than it is for you. But it's also much different for me than for cis women and cis men as well. Those without a functional uterus cannot get pregnant. Those who cannot get pregnant are not forcibly married off to be raped until pregnant as a means of detransition and correction. This misogyny we share with cis women.

However an added aspect of that is that if this happens after we've changed our legal documents, an additional layer of transphobia occurs when insurances and doctors see our M or X markers and deny us care out of hand. Now we are stuck with a pregnancy we don't want and constant reminder of what happened to us, or a huge medical bill with devastating financial consequences.

And that's just for those who got out safety- for those who rely on shelters, again the choice becomes detransition for safety at a woman's shelter, or struggle in silence as a man. That, we share with you, though for different reasons.

A unique interection of transphobia and misogyny specifically experienced by trans men was asked for. That is what I provided. Much like how in Crenshaw's essays one could not provide a complete understanding of "because woman" or "because black" because neither would show the full picture of "because black woman", it is not possible to describe this fully as "because trans " or "because man" because the complete "because trans man" must be provided.

I am of the opinion that there is very little "unique" about oppression- mostly that the various points of intersection change its face. In other words, I think trans men share a lot with trans women, and I don't think that's a bad thing. I also think that doesn't disclude something from earning its own name or having its own place to be talked about.

I have hesitated to post those statistics because they can so easily be twisted to say "trans women don't experience these things" or "trans men have it worse". But, a look at the graphs say the first isn't true, it just happens at a statistically less rate. The second, well, I personally don't think it's useful to quantify who has it worse. I once was in that mindset, apologizing to my mentor (an older trans woman) for complaining about my problems because obviously she had it so much worse.

She told me she doesn't like to think about it like that. For her, she would rather be raped than killed. For me, I would rather be killed than raped. Who has it "worse" depends entirely on perspective. Murder and rape are both terrible crimes to be a victim of. Rather than weighing this violence in a scale, more effort should be put into stopping it from happening in the first place. I think she was very wise. I'm lucky to have known her.

I'm sorry that happened to you. I would like to reach across the table and take your hand, to walk forward into the future together. I think we are stronger when united in this world that hates us. You are my sister. We may fight like siblings, but you're still family.

[moociaoafterdark]

i’m a victim of both man-on-woman and man-on-trans man SA, and it’s always been weird to me how one is treated as way worse. why is me being sexually abused before my transition somehow worse then me being abused after my transition? and i know that because i have a uterus and my abuser didn’t, i still had risk of being pregnant, so people are going to treat it as the ‘worse’ sexual abuse anyways. i can’t even imagine how often woman-on-woman or man/woman-on-trans woman is treated as nothing or just ‘the norm’. it’s really nice to see someone talk about the weird double standard, especially because (to me at least), the idea of “abusive queer relationships are fine, but not abusive straight relationships” kinda feels like the “all queer people are pedos/zoos/abusers” thing??? like i’m probably reaching but i don’t know, i feel like it boils down to the same thing of “queer people need to only be around each other and not interact with cishetallo people”

Hello, anon! Firstly, thank you for coming forward with this, I know this might have been hard and unpleasant for you. I am extremely sorry this has happened to you. And thank you for the kind words and inviting me to this discussion. This is something I harbored inside for years, not expecting to find a lot of people to relate to or understand.

Secondly, pregnancy by rape is definitely a factor in all of this. But cis people aren't the only ones that can get pregnant is something a lot of people seem to forget. Overall, people judge rape the same way they would judge other types of violence, aka trying to determine "how bad" and "how much damage has been done". They don't realize that SA is an ultimate act of violation of one's autonomy and personhood, humanity. They don't realize that rape is an awful crime not because of how "damaging" it was, but because it happened in the first place. That there was someone out there depraved enough to forsake all boundaries and reduce their victim to less than a person, a thing that they can control and do what they please with. Because this is the usual motivation of rapists - need to control something or show how much control they have. This is why male-on-female is prioritized over other types of sexual abuse. Because of risk of pregnancy, people think that this type of sexual abuse is the one that "deals most damage" to the victim's life. Female-on-male? "Women can't be sexual abusers, silly! And if she gets pregnant, guess you have to take responsibility! Pregnancy is so hard and difficult for mothers! Are you really going to abandon this woman and become part of the statistic?" Male-on-male? "I guess you were not strong enough to fight off this guy! Besides, are you sure you didn't enjoy it? What if you did? What if you're just gay/bi and in denial?" Female-on-female? "Women can't be sexual abusers, silly! If she is cis, then you have nothing to worry about! There was no penetration, she just touched you in places you didn't want her to touch you! Just suck it up and count yourself lucky, some people were violated with penises! Do you know how bad it is to get raped with a penis? Trust me, you don't want to find out!" That is not to mention the sheer homophobia and transphobia that comes with this topic. Because if the abuser was gay and/or trans, then that's just one more ""example"" for braindead conservatives to accuse the ENTIRE LGBTQ+ community of all secretly being rapists. Even if the victim themselves were gay and/or trans. LGBTQ+ people are also significantly limited in terms of support and help resources. In a lot of countries, coming out about being a victim of same sex sa will just result in more sa, because you are now "soiled". If you are a guy, you have been forever emasculated and people will be quick to assume your orientation. If you are a girl, you'll be lucky if your abuse simply gets swept under a rug. No one stops some monsters from showing you what "real rape" looks and feels like, so that you could shut up and stop "complaining" (and maybe "fix you" if they think the abuse "turned you gay"). In the end, it doesn't matter who committed the act of abuse and who got abused. Sexual abuse is awful because it should never have happened in the first place, period. However, it is a shame that in the era where SA is finally starting to get recognized and presented as a horrific and dehumanizing thing that it is, there's still so much stigma and that there's now a "socially acceptable" or "bad enough" type of abuse. Coming back to the discussion of fiction, I'll keep it short: either you are against ALL depictions of SA, no matter who the victim or abuser is, or you accept it as a topic that deserves to be explored from all angles, from all perspectives. You have a right to feel uncomfortable with some of it if you are a survivor, but remember that not all survivors are like you. We are not a monolith in that regard.

[robintherobiner]

Dick, on the phone to Tim: Hey, little brother, can you buy me something from the store?

Tim: Uh.. Sure, I guess I have time. Whatcha need?

Dick: Pregnancy test.

Tim: . . .

Dick: . . .

Wally, who’s listening in: . . .

Tim: You’re both cis men. You cannot get pregnant.

Dick: Don’t tell me what I can or can’t do!

Wally: Yeah! If Dick wants to be pregnant, he can be!

Tim: No, but, he physically can’t-

Dick: STOP INSULTING A PREGNANT MAN AND JUST GET ME THE TEST.

Tim: . . .

Wally: Actually, I think he’s right. You don’t have the worm, babe.

Dick: Awh…

Tim: ITS A FUCKING WOMB.

[anerdyfeminist]

A few months ago I read a take where a cis man who is childfree was like “All these CF people online suck. I can be so casually CF and not make it my whole identity. Why do all these other childfree people make a big deal about it?”

It’s stuck under my skin SO HARD. I didn’t come at him back then but it’s given me a rage simmering since, so I’m gonna rant.

On one hand, yup, I’m the first to want to stab kid-negative, kid-hating CF people but also???? Maybe if YOUR body could get pregnant and ESPECIALLY if you live in a state where abortion is illegal, the stakes would feel a little bit higher and you could have a little fucking compassion and awareness.

I can’t believe I’d need to tell someone who considered themself very socially aware that the decision to reproduce or not doesn’t carry all the same considerations for all people equally and maybe one person’s casual experience is another person’s living hell? Sorry, but yeah being CF is a big part of my identity when I was told for the first 25 years of my life it was my duty to carry on the bloodline and shit. I’d probably be a lot more casually CF if I hadn’t lived through that and also been able to get pregnant (my biggest phobia) for the past 26 years. Gawd. Like we’re all agreed here that being an asshole to kids is never ok but if someone’s demeanor toward a major life choice is different than yours maybe take 2 seconds to consider their variables are different than yours before claiming moral superiority.

[psychicbouquetofstars]

Feminists for decades: here’s how the patriarchy and sex/gender binary hurt men too. To fix this, we need to get rid of these systems and fix how everyone is raised and treated so everyone can be equal regardless of gender/sex.

“Feminists” on tumblr: haha look at those transandrophobia truthers! They’re so stupid! Feminine men are attacked by cis society cause of their proximity to trans women, the Only Oppressed People Alive. What do you mean homophobia? What are white woman tears? How could women ever have power over men? If a disabled man is being mistreated by his female caretaker it must be his fault. Women are good and pure and wholesome and can never cause harm. Trans men and women have equal and opposite experiences that line up with cisfeminist framework. Kicking you out of your support groups is gender affirming, is it not? You’re a man, why do you need to be in women’s spaces? Reproductive rights? Stop erasing women. Haha look at that pregnant man, so funny! Why are you calling me transphobic? I love boypussy and girldick. We should all worship the Dolls (but if they aren’t perfect and feminine then they’re tainted by Male Socialization and inherently evil cause men are inherently evil). Radfems love trans men! You’re just pissy cause you’re ugly and sweaty and balding and fat and gross cause of testosterone. You don’t have any real issues, you just want men to be oppressed.

I’ll never understand how we got from an ideology focused on bridging the artificial gaps between humans to the cesspit of ✨inclusive✨ gender essentialism that has sprung up. Men and women aren’t different species, neither are cis and trans people and neither are the people who fall outside all those categories. You would think that focusing on how these systems of oppression harm everyone would be the next logical step toward breaking them down but we still aren’t there. How can we get rid of these systems if we only focus on half their effects and abuses? How does saying “your problems aren’t real or as bad as these peoples problems so just deal with it” increase solidarity? If you aren’t working towards solidarity, what’s your goal? How will it help us break down these systems once or for all? Or do you just want us to shut up so you don’t have to deal with having bad opinions.

Like at this point I wouldn’t be surprised to run into people whole-heartedly believing that men in general can’t be feminists. I mean, knock on enough doors and the devil will answer but we’ve seriously regressed in our understanding of gender and feminism and it’s sad.

[teddybearslt]

stuff to know

okay i am a silly ftm fakeboy but ONLY IN KINK!! so you can use she/her with me during kink but all other times, use he/him!

i’m 19, and 5’3 !! (idk my weight cuz of my past, but i am pretty skinny, but with some muscle and a tiny bit of tummy chub!!)

i will not show my face or body, or give out any other personal stuffs for my own safety and privacy! (both for posting and dms)

i am also a gay man with a HEAVY preference for cis men! (plz plz PLZ still interact / dm / send asks if you are a cis girl or trans (ftm, mtf, fakeboy, nonbinary, it’s all okay with me!! i’m gay romantically but i have no preference with sex!)

while i like older guys, i prefer 18-mid 20’s!! (like 18-28)

i’m on the asexual spectrum so i might disappear at times

i post A LOT on here because i’m horny a lot and this is my one outlet teehee

plz call me teddy :3

my dms and asks are ALWAYS open!!

kinky get to know me

LIMITS: any bodily function like pee, poop, vom. feet. and actually trying to get me to detransition, gore, kidnapping, breeding*

loves: misgendering kink, ftm forced feminization, cnc, consensual somno, markings (hickies, biting, scratching), exhibitionism, voice, hands, muscle worship/praise, height / size difference, dumbifacation, breath play, (im also an experimentalist!! down to try pretty much anything!!) (there’s also definitely more but i can’t think of the right names for them 🧍🏼‍♂️)

iffy:edging (it’s hard for me idk), full public display, outdoor sex, anal

i frequent update this!!

last update: april 20th

*with breeding/pregnancy, i am NOT into it! BUT i am into the thought of being filled with cum/ having someone cum in me!! but it makes me uncomfortable to tell me that you’ll breed me / get me pregnant, so plz don’t. (i will 100% tell you this if you say it to me anyways.)

DNI: Minors, homophones, transphobes, ageless, terfs

anyways, enjoy your stay~

[sadkachow]

sometimes i wish i wasn’t transmasc.

i love being me, but it just gets so exhausting. 

i’m not in an environment where i’m able to be entirely open about it, and it makes every moment when i’m with anyone i’m not out to exhausting. i feel like i’m putting on a show, pretending to be someone i’m not.

and then (and this is the main point of this post) sometimes it feels like the queer community hates people like me. not always, but certainly enough. enough to make me feel isolated, even in online spaces where i can be myself, because no one wants me to be me. the amount of shit i see by other queer people (even other trans men!) about how my manness somehow means i don’t experience oppression (which assumes every trans masc or man can or wants to pass—and even then, they must also be quiet about their transness), that trans mascs and men aren’t allowed to have the language to speak about their oppression, that we’re oppressing other trans people (by merit of being men, i guess???), that we’re evil disgusting monsters. 

the fear-mongering around t, the idea that it makes you bad and dangerous, the idea that certain effects of t are inherently disgusting and bad.

the way that we’re either seen as “evil vicious wicked men” or “poor dumb stupid girls- i mean boys- i mean girls”.

we’re hated because we’re failed women. 

we’re hated because we’re men.

no trans man or masc has ever experienced oppression based on their identity—and don’t you dare go look up the reported rates of violence, harassment, and s/a that we receive, don’t you dare look at how high they are! 

trans men aren’t allowed to see our transness and our manhood as connected in any way, they must be separated (“we have to protect queerness from disgusting masculinity”—which is also harmful to anyone who is comfortable or even enjoys experiencing and embracing their masculinity). 

gay trans men like me are introducing on the gay community.

straight trans men are either preying on innocent women, or they’re “better” than cis men, because they(“‘re not really men”) know what women want and are like and can thus serve women better!

trans men who still identify with lesbianism for whatever reason are either treated as women or treated (once again) as evil invaders out to harm women.

not to mention the trans mascs and men who identify with any other label than those three—no matter what, our identities and labels get twisted around to be used against us, to the point where sometimes it feels like maybe it’d be better if we didn’t identify as anything at all (except maybe that’d get turned against us too).

we get attacked for trying to have more neutral language (i.e. “pregant people” instead of “pregnant women”, “menstrual hygiene” instead of “feminine hygiene”, etc). we get attacked for having our own language (the way every single term used to describe transmasc oppression has been dissected and degraded until it’s become clear that maybe it’s not the word itself but simply the fact that we are using it).

we get told how much men are awful and horrible either as if we arent “really” men (“kill all men. but not you, you’re one of the ‘good ones’ (aka: i don’t see you as a man)”), or because we’re just as bad and need to be separated and killed and harassed and hated (“kill all men, including trans men. you can’t be mad, you’re asking for it by (existing as yourself) being a man!” “trans men really are the men of the lgbtqia+ community” (this is also a form of malgendering—gendering someone correctly for the sake of harming or attacking them (aka with malicious intent))).

i see so much help and resources for other queer people, but hardly any for trans mascs/men. i’ve seen support that parades itself as “for trans people”, and then it turns out it’s for all trans people except trans men. (this isn’t an exaggeration, by the way. i’ve seen multiple respurces that say that they’re for the support of all trans people, and then if you actually read into it, they’re for the support of trans women and nonbinary people only—which is completely fine that those support groups exist! but then don’t label it as “for all trans people” if it’s not for all trans people. that’s exclusionary, and can also present nonbinary identities as “women-lite”—and also often leaves no space for trans women and nonbinary people who present in a more masculine way or who also identify with manhood/as men to some degree, or for nonbinary people who dont identify with womanhood/as women at all.)

violence against trans men is so often erased because we’re misgendered even in death. we’re forcefully detransitioned. we’re s/a-ed and abused at extremely high rates.

we’re pitiful misled girls or failed women or wicked evil men or pick me’s or vile abusers. 

we’re evil and we cannot be hurt or oppressed because we’re men, as if that is not a point of view that is based on bioessentialism/gender essentialism, racism, intersexism, and extremely harmful (especially to marginalised men in general—trans or not). 

no identity is uniquely capable or incapable of harm—anyone can harm anyone, regardless of who they are.

and yet, and yet, and yet, it’s alright because we asked for it by simply being us.

sometimes it just feels so isolating to be a trans boy, because everywhere i look, there’s people hating me for existing.

im just so tired of it.

(clarification: i know not all of the queer community holds this stance. i’ve seen and/or met wonderful queer people of all identities who have been understanding and accepting. i’m also not trying to say that the things mentioned in this are only driven forward by the community—plenty of people who aren’t in it do this stuff as well. what i mean is just that it feels as if this sort of talk—particularly radfem rhetoric—has been incredibly pervasive lately, at least from what i’ve experienced. i feel like a lot of people forget it’s not just the “trans exclusionary” part of TERFs that is bad, but the radical feminism as well. radical feminism isn’t good. it’s incredibly bioessentialist, racist, intersexist, and harmful in so many other ways by its nature. but it still stands so clearly in so many places. this is also by no means a comphrensive list on the treatment of trans mascs/men. i’m not infallible. there’s certainly other things that have happened that i’ve either forgotten or am not aware of—and if anyone wants to add on, feel free!)

[pomegranarchy]

This stupid fucking meme makes me cackle so I had to draw it with my most anxiety riddled loser, Michael

Every other character featured belongs to friends

Michael you’re a cis man AND an undead vampire you can’t get pregnant it is impossible twice over (this will not stop him from making a fool of himself)

[yandere-paramour]

Atlanta’s chapter 4 was a hefty meal. She gets up at 5!? One hell of a time to get up. But I’m also giddy, excited about what she wants to offer her darling, botanical gardens, manuscripts, art, it’s all so lovely! The gentleness of letting her darling rest on her is also adorable. My personal thing with nails is filed into basically claws and painted black so I love how she’s thinking everything over. Which eventually brings me to having children which I had never considered the actual biological aspect but now I’m curious about Atlanta’s plans for that. Can’t wait for more!

Atalanta is a cis woman so she cannot impregnate you herself and that makes her so sad. She for sure wants to have kid(s) with you, and for this, she needs to find some sperm. When Darling is ready for kids, she will inform Zachariah to line up some men and throw herself into the search for finding the perfect sperm. She will thoroughly vet any man and select one who looks the most similar/has the closest genetics to her while also being intelligent, athletic, beautiful, funny, and any other desirable trait she can think of so that the child can be a perfect combination of the both of you while also being exceptional.

If Darling does not want to be pregnant, she will go the other way and select a sperm donor who looks like Darling. She will also selflessly donate the egg to put into the surrogate if you don't want to (she's def not being pregnant, are you insane). The child born will be lovely, a perfect combination of her and her Darling and she will treasure her family.

She will also keep the selected sperm donor on retainer just incase the child needs a sibling.

[painfullymeta]

I wrote this in June of '22 on the tweeters

and I'm going to rescue it because of reasons. The fact it was originally on the tweeters is why the syntax is what it is.

Me and queerness, as inextricable from theology, autism, and occasionally having throw-down arguments with people online:

(Please keep in mind that neurodivergent folks are known for being fucking unable to manage a linear narrative. This isn’t tidy. Life isn’t tidy. Making life look tidy when it isn't is super weird.)

My first Pride, I thought I was straight and cis. (I knew I was acespec but had never encountered terms.)

I was doing a study abroad in London and was invited to Brighton Pride by some friends from alt.polyamory. [waves]

It was unspeakably beautiful. A bright sunny day in a park filled with people who were, at least in that moment, free and unafraid. I wanted to be like that.

I didn’t even know what I was afraid of and I wanted that.

So there’s me, sharing a picnic blanket with a glorious tangled heap of bisexuals, one trans guy who seemed even more shy than me, and the femmest straight guy I’ve ever met, awkward, unknowingly autistic, and basking in this sense of a community that I was not part of.

I saw someone commenting in a discussion thread recently that she’d (just checked pronouns) felt the most welcome at Pride when she thought she was straight, and remembering Brighton makes me wonder.

My second Pride, I still thought I was straight and cis. I was helping staff a local polyamory booth, with a water bottle with a splash of vinegar in it because I am bad at hydration, and it wasn’t magical like Brighton. I don’t know why. It was still good.

Sometimes things are only magical the first time, mind, or magical like that: once you know the Mystery it’s hard to capture the thrill of learning the Mystery. It could’ve been that.

Time passed. I had a lot of ace arguments on usenet, with various people in predictable roles. (“All human interaction is fundamentally erotic, if you don’t perceive that in others, you’re dehumanizing them!” “Have you tried casual sex to get over this problem of yours?”)

I did manage to get somewhere by the point that I could articulate that just because someone is attractive to look at doesn’t mean anything more than “They’d make a nice wall hanging.”

(Years later I learned “demi”, in the context of people mocking it as worthless claptrap.)

Eventually my arguing on the internet migrated to the fringes of the feminist blogosphere, where I learned a lot about TERFs, SWERFs, and KERFs, who made me very tired.

And got me seriously gnawing on questions of identity.

(Thing I didn’t - couldn’t - talk about when it was going around the tweeters, how fucking devastating the Tiller murder was when heavily pregnant with Oldest. Knowing what that man did to balm the wounds of people who were suffering unbelievable pain.)

(Still not really capable of talking about it. I blogged it at the time.)

(He was the one who cared enough to make sure they could have a funeral.)

(Fuck.)

Anyway.

There’s a lot of intensely eggy flailing in that blog, in between snarking at the various flavors of ERF. Processing the massive dysphoria of pregnancy. Wondering if issues with gender were distinct from other forms of ‘I can’t figure out how this social shit works’.

Those people were exhausting, so full of furious categorization. Women Are And Must Be Like This. The Mysteries Of Shared Girlhood. That lot didn’t go in for a lot of The Spiritual Experience Of Menstruation but gods know as a pagan I didn’t need a supplement.

When I talked shared girlhood experiences through the person I had the most in common with was a trans woman.

And I can't separate the sexual violence I’ve experienced from being targeted for being autistic.

(That was also a whole thing: “But that abuser might be a socially awkward autistic guy!” “… what about the socially awkward women?” “They shouldn’t be abusing people either har har har.”)

(Thanks. That’s a big help.)

(I’m just gonna sit here trying to take my social cues from people who are ignoring what’s happening to me, because that’s what I gotta do to survive….)

(Masking sucks. Whatever my gender is it is also autistic.)

I came into the blogworld with “geek as gender” in my back pocket and a sort of complex ambivalence about a lot of conversations, as well as a habit of picking Discordian fights with homophobes in alt.sports on usenet. (Which did get me sent highly photoshopped dick pics.)

(Look, dudes, if you’re going to call people “cocksuckers” on the internet I’m absolutely there to ask you why you think that’s an insult if you like receiving oral sex.)

Anyway I came out of the blogworld with enough experience that I occasionally consider lapsing into a massive clickbait rant entitled, “I was transed by the TERFs.”

They defined “a woman is” at me so hard I realized I couldn’t be one.

Honestly, I probably wouldn’t have figured it out without them.

I don’t have a clean, categorizable experience of gender. I simultaneously had an intense spiritual/physical calling to bear children and found the experience at times so horrifyingly dysphoric that leaving the house was literally unmanageable.

A gay man in a Craft training group asked me if I was aware I had a lot of male energy, which I chalked up to my astral/energetic penis. It made my day and I had no idea why. I’m not sure I even believe in “male energy”.

Someone once told me that I was just butch because something and I spent a while going, “Am I butch? Am I fucking butch? I am pretty sure on the butch/femme axis I am definitely multiplied by i, and possibly ???”

When I stopped thinking of myself as female, I started learning about eyeshadow.

Literally never touched the stuff before aside from getting enthusiastically femmed by a friend of my mother’s for senior prom and this one time a Mary Kay lady came to the house.

The thing about cosmetics is when I was a woman I could do it wrong, and being autistic I was just fucking tired of all the things I was doing wrong, socially, so I included me out.

When I stopped trying to be a woman I could have fun.

(Pretty sure I’m not butch.)

(When I did a clothing purge I kept this one blue dress in case I’m ever man enough to wear it again.)

One of the most surreal days of my pandemic life:

Extra-super-epic dissociated from extensive mammography, got back to the car in my mask and Boston Flowers blaseball cap and the parking lot attendant said “You have a good day, sir” as I left.

My Craft training got hung up on a point of theology and focus at one point. My teacher corrected me and suddenly—suddenly I had a beautiful, intimate relationship with one of the gods.

An explicitly transmasc god.

The seeds sleep in the dark until the season of emergence.

There was also the time I was doing some reading on the nephilim and wound up with a visitation from a transmasc angel.

The nephilim gave weapons to humanity, you know. Swords and cosmetics both.

They’re weapons.

Never forget that the makeup palette is a weapon too.

Some people know that in their bones.

(It’s really all about the copper. Copper alloys, copper pigments, hello I’ve tripped over a Hetharu mystery while I’m trying to articulate something about queerness, thanks Mum.)

(Copper connectivity, copper electromagnetic, the attractive-repulsive powerhouse of life.)

I struggle a lot. I still struggle. I know now what I was afraid of that first Pride, that beautiful day in Brighton, and I am not yet free.

I am not yet legible even to myself.

A while back someone was doing a survey of women in public/online gaming spaces, and it made me angry. Not because it was trans-exclusive - it explicitly called out that anyone who was identifying as a woman was welcome to participate.

But I’m not a woman.

There was no space for me to talk about the experience of being perceived without being—of the Vent suddenly falling silent before the raid and someone whispering, “There are *girls* here,” a little too loud–of the rest of it.

Not without betraying myself.

The complexity of the narrative isn’t *there*. I wasn’t “always a man”, or even “always a pretty boy” (I am better with ‘pretty boy’, I don’t know that ‘man’ is what I am.) I’m a middle-aged whatever-I-am with a history and it’s not clean or tidily genderable—and it doesn’t, looking back, produce any “And now, it all makes sense!”

Okay, the autistic thing did that, but the gender thing? No. It’s always been a giant fucking mess. Best I’ve got is “ah, that’s why my attraction to men felt more like a similarity-thing than a difference-thing, I thought it was just that I only fancy geeks.”

I feel like what I have is an experience that exists, that has broader meaning, this complex interaction in which I have Done As Much Female As I Intend To and am now swirling into the arms of a different god, but my culture does not have words for this.

That is the thing that makes me angry, that this sacred queer liminal “I have been here, and that is not where I live, I am in motion, I am other than you expect” feeling is not something for which there are *words*.

There is no ceremony. There is no ritual.

I could make one, but that is just me, it is not the ceremony of the people who are like me.

I am not alone, but I’m also a white person on stolen land and my people mutilated away our spaces for sacred queerness a long time ago.

Things that have been built are not for me. Or… I cannot feel they are for me and whether that’s that I don’t fit or that neurodivergence makes me presume rejection or what, I don’t know.

I have built so much to house my spirit, but souls are a community work, damnit.

I talked to my minister at church a while back about this, awkwardly, not knowing how to articulate it.

I was glad to do so, to feel safe doing so. He retired, though.

Maybe I’ll join the relevant committee. Ha ha UUjoke.

I wind up muttering about wrasse a lot, helplessly, into the void.

Also, unrelated to personal stuff, but because I cannot resist a factoid, some varieties of slime molds have thirteen sexes (when calculated by mitochondrial inheritance). I believe others have more or less.

I need a new binder. I need to figure out hormones and my medical stew. I need to deal with being afraid of transition, because one thing I have neurodivergently learned is that change is extremely high-risk, even if there is a potential of good in it.

I need a nap.

When I was in my early twenties, I was on the pill, as is not uncommon. It fucked me up in many ways, also as not uncommon.

I got a new formulation that fucked me up much less.

It was a high-testosterone version.

What is a man? (A miserable pile of secrets.)

Someday maybe I will know a thing about this.

(Have at you.) /fin

Oh yeah I should add a note that I have a reasonably large pile of queer-affirming and queer-analysis Christian exegesis because, uh.

Well, I didn’t know why I wanted them when I got them.

Funny how that works.

[jacksonstarkiller]

THUNDERQUEERS ARE GO!!!

Everyone already shared their queer headcanons a week ago. So here I am, right on time to once again be behind on everyone else 😃

(This is TOS based btw)

Am I the only one who has a queer headcanon for Jeff? Anyway, he’s bi. Realised it late as fuck though. After he was already married to Lucy and they had Scott. Not that it mattered for the marriage, I just meant that Jeff was an idiot late-bloomer. I image the conversation went something like this:

Jeff: Honey, I think I’m bisexual.

Lucy: Omg, you didn’t know?!

Jeff: You did?! Why didn’t you say anything?!

Lucy: I thought you knew and were just really casual about it!

Jeff *starts hyperventilating* : I think I’m having an existential crisis.

Lucy: … uhm, does this mean that now is a bad time to tell you I’m pregnant again?

Scott confuses me tbh. He has massive straight vibes but I cannot see him actually in a relationship with a woman. I can kinda picture him in a relationship with a man. I mostly like to think that Scott is just as confused as I am 😂.

You may have already seen the video I posted for Virgil Day. But I headcanon Virgil as bi and a demiboy using he/they pronouns. He mostly uses he/him though out of habit and because he doesn’t particularly care that much. I can also see him on the ace spectrum.

I’ve always called John a laid-back pan and I shall continue to do so. My headcanon is pretty much the same as @willow-salix so you can read her post if you want a more detailed explanation. I’m too lazy atm ����🏼‍♂️🏃🏼‍♂️🏃🏼‍♂️

Unpopular opinion but Gordon is my token straight 🤷🏼‍♂️. Can’t explain it. Just the vibes I get.

And then this post’s main event: Alan is gaaaaay! The second I laid eyes on that fucker, my brain went: ✨gay✨. I mean, he’s a drama queen in flamboyant fits. Were they even trying to hide it?🤨 Also, may I refer you to the dream sequence in Thunderbirds Are Go (1966)? Because, hello!!!

Lad looks like he’s going to pride. He’s wearing a rainbow glitter suit, surrounded by pink clouds, waiting for his female friend to come pick him up in her pink car to drive them to the Swinging Star (if that doesn’t sound like a 60s gay club, idk what does). You better believe he was pissed during End Of The Road. Finally a nice lad his age that he is not related to is on the island, and then Tin-Tin swoops in!!!! Like, girl you already have plenty of options, please let me have this one…

Additionally, I feel Alan is a firm believer that gender is a social construct and he doesn’t vibe with the traditional (binary) concept of the male gender. He still labels himself as male (using he/him) because he’s comfortable but with that, but he doesn’t care much what other people perceive him as or call him (unless they’re being purposely offensive).

Early Thunderbirds-days me was still cis-het and complimenting myself for being so emancipated for identifying with the queer character of a show whilst not being queer myself. Oh how the mighty have fallen …

That awkward moment you realise you identify with the gay puppet because you are a gay muppet

Hello rainbow flag my old friend 🥲

And look at that, it’s another Alan essay :)

@thunder-pride